I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
