Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
