You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
