Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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