put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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