My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
