just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i think i have two assholes
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
