There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Shame is for Republicans.
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