Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
