chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize