dude i'm inner monologue high
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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