You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
