My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
