They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
