so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
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