You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
