I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
ttyl tear gas
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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