I want to make a zoo with you.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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