I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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