She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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