i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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