Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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