break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just cropdusted the office
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
