Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
