i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Soap is not a condiment
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
