Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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