I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
