Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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