That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
