I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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