He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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