is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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