She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
