it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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