I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
