Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize