ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
