he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
