That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
