one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
