How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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