I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
