Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
