I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
