How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
