My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
it glows. i had to have it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize