I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
