Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Sorry about my life...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
