If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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