I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
