she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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