We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
