Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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