Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
