i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
