Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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