Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
