This girl is more easily done than said...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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