Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
