Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
