We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
