sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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