I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
