South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
