I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
