Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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