can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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