the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize