White coat. Heels.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
