Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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