so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize