Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
