grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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