Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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