my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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