just come out here and I will go home with you...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
