dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
