very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
