and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize