i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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